Terrible Song Lyrics
From “Love Games” by Lady GaGa
“Let’s have some fun, this beat is sick. I wanna take a ride on your disco stick.”
Nothing could make my penis go flaccid faster than hearing a woman refer to it as a “disco stick.” Proper nicknames may be any of the following examples:
Lightening Rod, The Hammer, The Beast, Python, etc.
Ms. Gaga, I would love to play a “Love Game” with you: it’s called “erotic asphyxiation,” but you are the only one who is going to get choked.
From “So What” by Pink
“The waiter just took my table and gave it to Jessica Simps” AND
“Check my flow *bizarre grunt noise*”
Jessica Simps? Seriously? Say it with me now: Jessica SimpsON. Good! Lazy bitch.
And I’m going to assume that since Pink is a woman and clearly cannot rap, she is referring to her period when asking the listener to “check my flow.” I politely decline. I would rather not be face-to-gaping hole with her saber-toothed snatch.
From “You’re so Vain” by Carly Simon
“You‘re so vain, I bet you think this song is about you”
Correct me if I’m wrong Carly, but presumably you wrote this song about a certain person, and you wanted to express to this individual that they are indeed, vain. At what point does the subject of the song change? Who is the song actually about? Is there a person literally named “You” somewhere? No, there isn’t, because the words would then need to be “You is so vain, I bet You thinks this song is about you.” In such a case, You wouldn’t be vain because You believes the song is about someone else. Well I have have something to say to you Mrs. Simon:
“You’re so dumb, I bet you think this post is about one of your songs.”
What’s that? You don’t get it? Well that’s because this post is about one of your songs and how it makes no fucking sense.
From “Battlefield” by Jordin Sparks
“Why does love always feel like a battlefield?”
Such a deep lyric. Especially coming from a nineteen-year-old girl with no combat experience.
I might need to add to this list, but I’m out of time.
From “Over You” by Chris Daughtry
“Build me up and tear me down, like an old abandoned house.”
So, so deep.