The Area Code System
A friend of mine exposed me to a new way of thinking, and it is time to share this methodology with the world (all 200 of you):
When describing the fairer sex, we men often summarize appeal with a simple digit: “She’s an 8.” Some of us that are more daring venture to use decimal places: “No, she’s an 8.2.” We proceed to argue about our ratings and why we chose our respective numbers.
There needs to be a system that factors in body, “nailability”, and face. This system is affectionately called the “Area Code System.”
The first digit is regarding the body and is on a scale of 1-9, 9 being the best. The second digit, regarding “nailability”, is treated as “true or false” and is consequently either a 0 or 1, 1 being “nailable.” The final digit is in respect to face, and is also chosen on a 1-9 scale, 9 being the best.
The beauty of the Area Code System is that it addresses both objective (face, body) and subjective (nailability) factors.
Let’s do a couple examples:
Oprah Winfrey
This woman’s weight has fluctuated more than the public opinion of George W. Bush, but I’ll be damned if her face isn’t almost average. Oh ya, she’s also rich as hell, so I’d let her bone-spoon feed me caviar for the rest of our lives.
Oprah is a 214. Or for the geographically talented, a Dallas.
Nicole Kidman
From a purely objective standpoint, she has a nice body (albeit pale) and face. She could fool you into a bang session, unless of course you’ve seen one of her deplorable movies or know her romantic history. Any woman who would accept Tom Cruise’s seed has a screw loose. And I’m not knocking Tom Cruise as an actor; he’s just a classic weirdo.
708. Or an Oak Brook.
And for the ladies, I’ll even analyze a guy:
David Duchovny.
Ah, the elusive 919, or a Raleigh. And if you don’t believe me, watch Californication. But make sure to put a towel down first, ladies.
Well, that’s all I have time for today. Sound off about the Area Code System. If you know one that’s better, keep it to yourself.
Well, you’re close, but I don’t give a shit how much money Oprah has, I just couldn’t do it. She’ll always be a Manitoba to me.
As for Kidman, sometimes the ones with screws loose are the best in bed. Forth Worth.
I can’t argue with your Duchovny rating though. Girls, definitely keep that towel ready.
I read that he was to eager do a Coronation Street cameo! :O. Sounds a bit dodgy to me. There’s a part of me that kind of hopes this is not true lol.